Rough the waters...

Okay peeps...tough day today. Probably my worst day since being in the city. It has very little to do with the city itself, though being a round millions of people who couldn't give a rat's backside about any of the others does get a little bit grating sometimes. I love New York City and I'm thriving on the energy that it gives.

HOWEVER. It has come to my attention, most unfortunately, that I have apparently not been very good at making friends here. I'm not exactly sure why that is. Perhaps it is due to my need to feel safe or secure, or my fear of being judged for my personality, but for whatever reason, to people in my dorm especially, I have a reputation for being very mean, uninterested, and completely dissociated from everyone else. Like, I'm really not kidding. It's something people actually discuss behind my back, which doesn't really bother me in and of itself, but it bugs me that I am giving this vibe off and I don't even realize it.

Alex (roommate) and I discussed it for a brief period of time this evening (it was actually quite heated) but he brought up some good points. First, I apparently completely lack confidence of any kind. This is difficult for me to hear, because I USED to think I had quite a bit of confidence and self-esteem. I USED to think I came across as a stable and confident, self-assured guy, but apparently, that is not the case here at all. Second, I have a reputation for being mean to people. Now, those of you who know me well are aware that I can be really mean if I want to be. However, let's face it that the reality is that I intend to be, in those situations. Here though, I haven't been around people enough to be giving this vibe. In fact, I thought I was being quite polite and nice to people, trying to introduce myself, trying to be friendly, but it isn't coming across that way at all. Third, I apparently have no personality. Those people that don't think I'm a complete self-absorbed jerk think that I'm dull and lame. I'm sick of it, quite frankly, but it's hard to know how to fix it. Alex seems to be just FULL of wisdom on this matter, but quite frankly I take most of what he says with a grain of salt.

However, I think he makes some good points. He does bring up the fact (very bluntly) that I immediately make a very bad first impression on people, which is something I MUST work on. He also made the good point that I haven't really tried to make friends with people from the school, which is true. I've been somewhat stuck on trying to stand apart and trying to not be pulled into their lifestyle that I've completely forgotten my entire goal in coming here, which was to show them that Christians can be just as effective and successful (whatever that means) in this industry as anyone else. It was a good slap in the face to hear that I have completely separated myself from my peers here, which is not a good thing. We are called to be salt and light IN the world, not outside of it. I think that is exactly what Jesus was talking about when He said, you must be in the world but not of it. In other words, and how this translates to my personal situation is, I MUST be engaged in the lives of the people around me. Up till now, I have tried so hard to be separated from them, which has not helped matters at all. In order to effect any kind of change, and in order to pursue my career and my calling to the best of my ability, I must be able to see people from all walks of life, all lifestyles, all facets of diversity, and love them as Christ loves them. I need to visualize others as children of God, created in His image and made in His likeness. Only then will I be able to make any kind of impact whatsoever.

Well, I'm tired and I have class early tomorrow, so I shall bid you all good night. I hope the above made sense, but it's kind of hard to nail all of this down into cohesive thoughts sometimes. Thank you for reading!

Things to pray for:

• Continue to pray for the development of a Bible study. It is in the works, and looks like God is working there.
• Pray for my attitude while adjusting to everything new and different. Pray for God's guidance in making friends and connecting with the people here at school.
• Pray for dedication and perseverance as classes start. This is a very tough program.
• Finally, pray for the people of NYC and the Christians here who are working to make an impact. It's a city very lost, but also very valuable and I feel there is much to be gained.

Ciao

So...

Hey guys...coming to you pretty late tonight. I can't sleep. I've laid here for about two hours trying, and I still can't. I absolutely must get into a solid sleep habit here soon, or I'm going to die. Also, my roommates seem to think it's fun to have tons and tons of people here in our suite during the late hours of the night/early morning, which is fine, but I just don't really know how that's going to work later on in the year. Usually, I just close my door and try to block out the noise, but then they get upset with me because I'm not being social, when all I want to do is go to sleep at a respectable hour of night. I need to get some good sleep before school starts so I'll have a good habit built up. I need to start strong...word on campus is that the Foundation fine arts year here at parsons is the most difficult of its kind in the world. I'm excited, but somewhat worried for some of our more...shall we say "party inclined" members of our class. Oh well...we shall see.

Okay, can we talk about today for just a second? I wasted most of the morning sleeping because of, you guessed it: a late night gathering of random people in our suite. *sigh* BUT, after having lunch with my roomies and their parents, it was back to the room to hang out and relax for the day. Spent some time with a friend from home also, which was a lot of fun. HOWEVER, the big highlight of the day was definitely the fact that I went to church this evening at a church called Apostles NYC that meets in a huge historic episcopal cathedral across the park from my building. I cannot even explain to you how much I loved the service. The message was so perfectly tuned to my needs here at school and I felt so welcome. The time of worship spoke to my heart as well. The glorious space of the cathedral was so incredible...I can see why churches in the "way back when" periods built such magnificent buildings. They are so inspiring. It was nice to be able to take communion at my first church service in New York also. It just felt like such an awesome way to consecrate this new chapter in my life properly.

OH OH OH, and you all must know that I have already found my very favorite restaurant. You know, the kind where you walk in and say "the usual" to a large, friendly, and pleasantly in your face Italian man and he knows exactly what you want? Yes. I've found it, and I'm so happy. And you know what else? It is SO cheap for a HUGE amount of delicious food AND they deliver. Heaven? I daresay. Right around the corner...I love it.

Not a whole lot else...I'm getting appropriately sleepy, so I suppose I should try to sleep some more.

Things to pray for:

• Peace about my surroundings and new environment. A lot has changed.
• A heart of love for the people around me. There are some wonderful and incredibly gifted people at this school, but many need some unconditional love.
• Those at Apostles who are working hard to minister to a very lost city. It is a huge job...
• Finally, and most importantly, there is as of yet no Christian organization at the New School, which is the university of which Parsons is a part. I am planning to begin a bible study group here in my dorm, though I am unsure if there are other Christians here or not. Pray that God will lead me to some, so that we can find a common bond. Also, in order to become an organization directly recognized by the school (which would give us meeting space, a small budget, a certain number of copies per month, and much more exposure), so pray that God would provide the means for that.

However, so many things to be thankful for! God is truly good...

http://www.apostlesnyc.com/ (check them out)

Small update...

Well, here we are on day three in the city. I must say, I have been pleasantly surprised to discover that it has not been as difficult of a transition as I had expected it to be. I am loving the city a lot. The area I am in is beautiful, with lots of trees and very nice people. It hasn't been terribly crowded, though the heat has become a bit of a nuisance. I'm not used to so much humidity. However, it has been very enjoyable so far. I stopped in the farmer's market on the way to school today and bought a couple of apples for my breakfast, which was a lot of fun. I think I'm going to enjoy this city.

My roommates are cool...there is Alex and I in one room, and three other guys in a room next door and we all share a kitchen. I don't see them much. I'm pretty sure the other three think I hate them though, so that could be a bit of a problem.

I think it's because when I get into new situations where i have to meet a whole lot of people in a short amount of time, I get kind of clammed up and I don't like to talk or introduce myself. (Truth be told, I miss all of my friends back home immensely, but I suppose this is all just a part of the whole college thing) Oh well. One lives and one learns.

So, in case you're curious, I took some pictures today. The first is my half of the dorm room. There is also a closet that you can't see. The second is the view out our window...it's really nice to see some natural green. It's a nice neighborhood, which is cool.

So, something that has been on my heart for the last few days is a need for Christian friends. It's incredibly difficult to find them here and I'm just asking God to lead me to some quality friends, especially here in my dorm. It seems that most people care more about partying and such than about anything else. I think it could get very hard to deal with. I'm going to go to church tomorrow, so hopefully that will help me meet some great people.

Also, pray for a job...I'm gonna need some part time work while I'm here. I applied at the American Eagle store in Union Square today, and that seems like a very promising option, so pray for that.

Anyway, I need to go take a nap before our next meeting, so I'd better head. Thanks for reading!

Well here we are...

Hey hey peeps. So, here we are...finally in good old New York City. For those of you who are curious (and for those who are not) it is SO hot here. Oh, hot WITH humidity. Fun stuff. I miss Colorado already.

Today has been an intense set of affairs. To begin with, it was an extraordinarily early morning with next to no sleep. Went to the airport early, drove through rush hour, found my bags to be each two pounds overweight, argued with a ticket lady from Frontier Airlines (I hereby publicly apologize, whoever you are, for my irritability. It was not your fault), thought I had missed my flight and subsequently dashed through the airport only to find that my watch was one hour fast, ate a crumbly (and entirely too expensive) muffin that was not very good, boarded a flight with a weeping baby, sat next to a very nice man who slept on my shoulder most of the way, engaged a taxi cab to Manhattan (the driver of which was not only very friendly, but extraordinarily efficient, and lastly lugged all five pieces (and about 260 lbs total) of my luggage up four flights of stairs. A good first day in New York, I would say.

Though, to be fair, there were actually a great many good things about today as well. I'm just too tired, cranky, and headachy to remember them all.

Oh wait...I'm here in one piece (and not mugged--you know who you are). That is a good thing. Above is a photo. I did not take it. I simply added it to make this page more aesthetically pleasing.

Well, I'm going on a walk . Update tomorrow.