Well, it has been quite some time since last I updated this blog. For the few of you that do read it, I'm sorry it has been so long.
A lot has happened since last I wrote. Midterm came and went. I'm doing well in most of my classes, though there are a few that could use some greater dedication. We are nearly to Spring 2011 registration time, which is an exciting thing as well as a kind of scary thing. I hope to get the classes that I want, though I suppose we'll see.
It has actually been a difficult couple of weeks. I have had some major ups and downs as I attempt to navigate my way through life here in NYC. I continue to make some great new friends through my church, which has been great, but I have yet to find that really solid community that I enjoyed and grew from while I was at home. With time, I'm sure it will come.
I sleep very little...it has come to the point where three hours of sleep is a lot for me. I don't know how I feel about it, but there really is not a lot I can do about it. It will just have to be that way for a little while. School has got me working a lot on homework. I suppose that's a good thing, but I feel really overwhelmed sometimes.
Financially, I'm having some troubles. Despite having a really strict budget, supplies for my classes are quite a lot, so it is difficult to manage that on top of buying food and everything else. I'm looking for a job right now, so hopefully everything will work out until I can go home on winter break and regroup.
I had a minor meltdown on Thursday night. I lost something very valuable to me in a cab and it was as though that was the cherry on top of a horrible week. I then stayed up all night finishing a project for class on Friday. I just feel so pathetic these days...
I've been really considering what I'm doing here. Why did I decide to come all the way out here? Here I am...broke, no free time, doing projects in school that seem completely pointless, competing with hundreds of other kids all vying for the same mediocre jobs. Or at least, that's how it feels sometimes. I know God has me here for something, but right now it's hard to see that. At times, I think very fondly of just going home and working at the coffee shop where it's safe and small. But I know I can't do that...even if I do crash and burn miserably in New York, I can never go home. There is nothing there for me.
I had a dream once...a big dream. I guess in my mind I figured it would be easy. I thought that all I had to do was come to New York, step off the plane, and the life I imagined would just fall into my lap. I'm now realizing that is not in fact the case. There's a long road ahead of me before I reach my goals. Challenges, failures, and obstacles are only a part of that road. I need to embrace them and learn from them. I'm not a person who usually finishes things I start, but I'm gonna finish this one. Whether I succeed or not, I'm certainly going to try.
Besides, I've only been here three months...it'd be silly to give up now.
Anyway, enough boring talk. I have a barbecue to attend this evening, so that should be a lot of fun.
Till soon...
